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And while we’re here, on the age range you’re looking for? It’s a little creepy for a nineteen year old girl to get emailed by a thirty year old guy, no matter how hot she looks in that holiday photo. Religion – I always put Christian – non practicing (whereas neo Pagan would have been closer to the truth, but by putting ‘Atheist’ you’re automatically discounting a Convent school’s worth of untapped talent). But it was like taking my niece to school the next morning.

And remember, other girls can probably see the age range you’re looking at – so make sure your upper limit is at least your own age, if not a couple of years older. Then we get onto who you’re looking for on a girls profile. While we’re on height, what if the girl’s over five eleven? They may look like a supermodel on paper, until you remember that supermodels are simply a pair of side boob shadows airbrushed onto a skeleton.

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At the last count, I’d spent over £300 on maintaining an online profile and been on more than 50 dates. So what does one look forward to when taking up this new found hobby?“People are so used to seeing professional, airbrushed photos in the media so a selfie will almost always look really amateurish and like you don’t care.” The Zoosk survey also found that men who used the words ‘baby’ and ‘beautiful’ in their first message to women were 10 and 13 per cent respectively less likely to get a response.Full words were shown to be important to both sexes, with people using ‘ur’, ‘b4’ and ‘cuz’ less likely to be contacted.Also, ugh the whole line about a girl who wears nerdy glasses but also looks great in heels/knows how to be comfy but dresses killer/read the Times in bed on Sunday morning. I actually met four nice men and fell in love with one.” There is a consensus that good hygiene is important. No sweats.” • “Shower and don’t dress like an idiot.” Choosing the right picture of yourself might not mean what you think it means • “Do use pictures of yourself shamelessly holding pets or babies or reading books.Ughhhhhhh where is the master profile you are all drawing these from?? ’ in your profile, I assume you are a guy who thrives on drama.” 89.7% of respondents agree: Three emails tops, then meet. (We made that figure up, but it’s pretty close.) • “The whole point of online dating is to set up IRL dates. 82,049 respondents would like to remind you to brush your teeth. There are whole Tumblrs devoted to this.” • “Don’t put a picture of you embracing another woman.” • “If your photo is just a bare torso, I am not going to respond to your message. Apparently, according to the vehemence and frequency of responses, a lot of guys are misguided about their height. • “Everyone should be more open about what they want and who they are.” Every single respondent agrees with this, which is well-put: • “If there’s something that you consider off-putting about yourself, no need to harp on it. No need to address it in length on your profile (or even at all); it comes off as bitter and insecure….




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War Games (1983)The beginning of the personal-computer age brought new convenience and new capabilities, but also a share of new paranoias: fears that technology was moving too fast, that the average user wouldn't be able to keep up with the rapidly changing personal and corporate culture, that untested and possibly flawed machines were rapidly gaining control over people's lives. Voiceovers clue the audience in to what they're typing, from their mutual love of their hometown, New York, to—get this—why men love The Godfather!


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